Too Many Words Devoted to the Soundtrack to Sonic the Hedgehog

Ever have one of those moments where you were in the middle of doing research for work when suddenly you say to yourself “Aaaand, now I’m listening to the entire soundtrack to every Sonic the Hedgehog game for the rest of the day”? I’m having one of those moments.

Back in the past, my brothers and I would sit in front of our TV with a tape recorder, (a tape recorder is a device that converts sound onto a piece of tangible media, what we called at the time an “audio tape”), and we’d record the score to various levels in the Sonic the Hedgehog games. Then we’d put those tapes in our walkmen, (a walkmen is a portable device that would play tapes back to the listener via headphones, it was sort of like an iPod, but shittier in every measurable way, though we didn’t know that until the iPod came out), and we’d listen to them, on bus rides, or while mowing the lawn, (a lawn was a patch of grass that existed in front of and behind one’s house, before the robots overlords came and devoured all the grass for their precious fuel).

The music in Sonic the Hedgehog is so freaking good I can’t even stand it. I keep listening to Star Light Zone and Sky Chase Zone over and over again, I can’t decide which one I like more. Sky Chase is beautiful and is really successful at conveying mood that’s appropriate to the level, (insofar as the mood “flying through the sky in a plane piloted by a child fox” can be conveyed sonically), but I just love the bass in Star Light, (insofar as you can call a series of midi beeps “bass”). On the plus side, I’ll never have to decide which one I like more, because no one will ever ask me, because none of this is actually important. Phew.

But, Hell, just listen to the cool, progressive time-change at around 37 seconds into the Scrap Brain Zone score. How cool and clever is that, ESPECIALLY for a kid’s video game? I think Muse ripped off that exact sequence at some point, what a cool thing. I want to re-record Mystic Cave Zone with real instruments, and then have Michael rap over it. I want to write a majestic musical about presidents and have the guy who scored Wing Fortress Zone provide the music.

I also want to get laid again at some point in my lifetime, so I’ll probably stop publicly talking about the things I want to do with songs from Sonic the Hedgehog now.