This Dan O'Brien

“What do you want left after you when you die? Do you want a Great Big Marble monument that reads GEORGE WALLCE— HE BUILT?… Or do you want a little piece of scrawny pine board lying across that harsh, caliche soil that reads GEORGE WALLACE— HE HATED?”
Lyndon Johnson, calling on George Wallace to persuade Alabama registrars to give blacks the vote and sounding like a freaking poet when he does it. Find more interesting facts and badass quotes (in that same conversation, Johnson says “Don’t shit me” when Wallace claims to hold no influence over his voters) in my new book, How to Fight Presidents.
I super love this gif.

I super love this gif.

Anonymous asked: Will I be able to enjoy your book even if I'm not particularly interested in American Presidents? Seriously, the topic doesn't appeal to me that much but I'm thinking of buying it anyway because I think your writing is fantastic.

I won’t lie to you; you’re going to love this book. I didn’t write it for Presidential buffs or fans of history or even fans of my writing. I wrote it just for you. I want you to read it and smile and look at me with new eyes. That’s all.

eskimorapbattles asked: Having just finished How to Fight Presidents, the only emotional response I'm able to conjure is an intense yearning need to hear you read it. Make an audiobook so I can buy my first ever audiobook and give you more of my money?

An audio version exists! I read the intro!

Anonymous asked: i have always been very curious as to how long it takes to write a book from initial conception to complete product. I know its all subjective, but how long did it take for you with this project?

It’s hard to say. Crown Publishing agreed to publish the book and asked me what kind of deadline I wanted and I said “I can write this book in 9 months.” That’s a weird timeline for a number of reasons:

-It Was Intentionally Short: Crown would be happy to give me ANY amount of time, they just wanted the thing to be good. They didn’t impose a deadline; I did. I wanted the book to come out as soon as possible, because I’m used to the internet, where you write a thing and then it exists, and then you can move on. So I promised to write it as soon as I thought was physically possible because I wanted the time between me saying “I’m writing a book!” and “You can buy my book!” to be as short as possible.

-Nine Months is Misleading: That’s the timeline I gave Crown, but I’ve been reading and writing about presidents since 2007. That timeline was specific to the physical writing of the book but didn’t factor in the previous years of research that went into it. I could not have written this book in nine months had I not spent several years researching, for free, alone.

-Deadlines: I set a deadline for this book because it was clearly mapped out: I knew it was nonfiction, I knew I was going to cover every president, and I knew how long I wanted the chapters to be. I couldn’t possible come up with a reasonable timeline for, say, a novel, because I have less control over fiction.

Anyway, BUY MY BOOK PLEASE!

Anonymous asked: Is there any chance that you'll be doing a book signing tour? (I have no idea how book tours work, I just know I go to them.) I'm a long-time fan from the San Francisco area and have desperately wanted to meet you for years, so it would make my fucking life to meet you/get the (fantastically hilarious) book signed.

As of right now, I’ll be in Little Rock, Arkansas at the end of April and a Barnes and Noble in Santa Monica, California in late May. Happy to pick up signing/speaking/pimping opportunities where and when ever, but that’s the only stuff so far. 

starline:

Angry Mermaid ACEO Card

My creative crush on Star grows every day.

starline:

Angry Mermaid ACEO Card

My creative crush on Star grows every day.

mattreadsthings asked: This has been bothering me for like an hour: Is DOB pronounced like GOB ('dobe')? Is it just a regular abbreviation? Does everyone know this already and I'm just late to the game? Will Goku ever defeat Frieza?

Dee. Oh. Bee.

justerino asked: I've been reading through the first 2 volumes of New Avengers, and I've been subconsciously reading Spider-Man's dialogue in your voice. Not much of a question, just felt like mentioning it.

Bendis writes the best Spider-man dialogue of anyone I’ve ever read. It’s stupid they don’t bring him on to write dialogue in the movies.

the-engaged-idealist asked: Growing up I wanted to be 2 things: a comedy writer, and an astronaut. Neither has been achieved, but one is a little more w/in reach than the other (spoiler alert: its the astronaut). My senior year of high school I stumbled upon Cracked and really felt connected to your writing in particular. Now in my senior year of college I have done some improv and writing classes and feel empowered to write. I am just as excited for your book as your writing reminded me of my childhood dream, so thank you

Thanks for those incredibly kind words and good luck on all of your writing, comedy and space business. It looks like you had dreams when you were a kid that you will one day achieve, and that will be amazing. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being either the guy who shakes paint at Home Depot or that I would take over for Bob Saget as host of America’s Funniest Home Videos. I missed both of my childhood dreams but still ended up with a pretty amazing life.

Hear that kids? Achieve your dreams or don’t; everything will still be fine!