This Dan O'Brien

abeepp:

Apparently when I get bored, I get really bored.

abeepp:

Apparently when I get bored, I get really bored.

cracked:

Wow, they’ll put anyone on The Daily Show these days. (x)



A popular, mainstream source mentioned Cracked and not as a magazine for literally the first time ever oh my God hooray.

cracked:

Wow, they’ll put anyone on The Daily Show these days. (x)

A popular, mainstream source mentioned Cracked and not as a magazine for literally the first time ever oh my God hooray.

John Mayer has a lyric that goes “I wish there was an over-the-counter drug for my loneliness. FOR MY LONELINESS!” I can’t stop thinking about him saying that in earnest to a therapist who is just trying to keep it together. I’m going to challenge myself to slip it into a conversation. I want to do a joyful painting of how that lyric makes me feel. I want John to sell the rights to that song to an anti-depressant medication so the commercial starts and that lyric plays and then the guy from the All State commercials says “Now there is, John. It’s called ‘Artaxal,’ and I think you’ll find it’s what’s been missing.” I want to hear Tracey Morgan read that lyric as Tracey Jordan. I want John to get married and in his vows say “I thought I wanted an over-the-counter drug for my loneliness, for my loneliness, but really all I needed was you, by my side, Lana del Ray or whatever.” This lyric is the best thing to happen to me in such a long time.

starline:

Hey y’all, Threadless is having a “Horror”-themed design challenge, so I decided to make something real quick for it. Everyone is submitting these really creepy designs, but I thought I’d make something that reflects what actually scares me on a day-to-day basis. :D 
If you like my design, “No Signal”, and hopefully give me a chance at the $2000 prize, give me a “5” vote!  Much appreciated!

Signal boost for Starline!

starline:

Hey y’all, Threadless is having a “Horror”-themed design challenge, so I decided to make something real quick for it. Everyone is submitting these really creepy designs, but I thought I’d make something that reflects what actually scares me on a day-to-day basis. :D 

If you like my design, “No Signal”, and hopefully give me a chance at the $2000 prize, give me a “5” vote!  Much appreciated!

Signal boost for Starline!

sexualfavours:






Marina, I don’t know who Anna is, but I made this two years ago (http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-movies-fixed-with-just-one-word/). Weird that it ended up on your radar and even weirder that this silly thing now has over 100,000 notes, but hey life or whatever.

sexualfavours:

image

Marina, I don’t know who Anna is, but I made this two years ago (http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-movies-fixed-with-just-one-word/). Weird that it ended up on your radar and even weirder that this silly thing now has over 100,000 notes, but hey life or whatever.

(via caryfuckmenowa)

wandererandwonderer said: Quick question: Do you know where your book "How to Fight Presidents..." would be located in a Barnes & Noble, or if it is even in them? I want to read it but prefer to buy my books in person rather than online. Which is curious because I am far too anxious to actually approach a B&N employee for help searching for your book. Any and all help is appreciated, thanks!

I think it most often shows up in History sections, and that varies depending on how specific the History section at your particular Barnes and Noble is. Some have a “US Presidents” section and some have a general “American History” section and some just have an even MORE general “History” section, nothing else. I’ve never seen it in the Humor section, which is fine by me, because I don’t think any of the funniest books I’ve ever read came from the Humor section of a bookstore, and a few stores occasionally rotate it into their “Helpful, Humorous and Odd” tables (though probably not anymore, this far away from the release date).

LEGITIMATE RAPE!

meganamram:

This week former congressman Todd Akin reaffirmed his beliefs that victims of “legitimate rape” can’t get pregnant & that the female body “has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” A lot of people don’t believe him, but that’s why I’m here! To explain why he’s DEAD RIGHT, using SCIENCE!!

Preorder my book “SCIENCE…FOR HER!" at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Indiebound for more science…for her!!

Megan Amram is writing the science book I wish I had when I was a little girl.
emmyc:

reverse falconer

emmyc:

reverse falconer

rolodextra said: What inspired you to write the Elmer Fudd letter?

I’ve been re-watching a lot of Looney Tunes cartoons recently because there are so many amazing comedy/writing lessons that can be learned from those old cartoons (pay close attention to speed, efficiency, and jokes-per-second). Anyone who wants to write comedy should really watch a ton of those old cartoons, just to be blown away. The amount of jokes they cram into an episode is humbling.

But watching these cartoons brought something else up. The Bugs-Fudd relationship has really been sticking out to me lately. To begin with, I always felt alienated by Bugs. Even as a child, as someone who identified more with Daffy (confused, incapable underdog with a completely unearned sense of self-confidence), I always felt Bugs was kind of a jerk even though intellectually I understood that I was SUPPOSED to hold him up as a hero (he is, after all, the closest thing Looney Tunes had to an official mascot). It was always weird. I knew I was supposed to like Bugs  because he was the face of this cartoon show I liked and he always won, but I never quite wanted to be/hang out with him.

Rewatching now, as an adult, I have even more problems with Bugs specifically related to his dealings with Elmer Fudd. Fudd isn’t Yosemite Sam, he’s not some violent jerk with a hair-trigger temper; he’s a simple worker. Nothing about Elmer Fudd is high status, he’s not handsome or bright or rich or important. He can’t even remember if it’s Rabbit Season or Duck Season, he’s just trying to work the only job he can do. It’s very telling that he’s not a master hunter, he’s not tracking lions or rhinos. He’s tracking ducks and rabbits, because that’s his level. It was also important to me to note that he paid strict attention to what season it was. He wasn’t a horrible, destructive poacher like George C. Scott’s character in The Rescuers Down Under, he sat around patiently waiting for the time when he could legally hunt rabbits and ducks and then acted accordingly.

And he is the villain, according to Looney Tunes law.

That seems very unfair to me. Bugs was always Elmer’s bully. We were supposed to root for Bugs, but he’s the bully. Tormenting the sweet, kind-of-slow guy who talks funny.

I don’t know. I wrote this thing because Elmer Fudd is the Forest Gump of the LT universe, and it’s weird they made him a villain. I added the Mom stuff to really drive home how sad Fudd’s life must have been.